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Monday, 25 March 2013

Time Team: au revoir

[with apologies to Monty Python]:

FIRST ARCHAEOLOGIST:

Who'd have thought twenty year ago we'd all be sittin' here digging our 250th site with JCB, geophysics, computer graphics and an 'elicopter, drinking Ch√Ęteau de Chasselas and eating risotto from the back of a catering van eh?

SECOND ARCHAEOLOGIST:

In them days we was glad to have the price of a cup o' tea.

THIRD ARCHAEOLOGIST:

A cup o' cold tea.

FOURTH ARCHAEOLOGIST:

Without milk or sugar.

THIRD ARCHAEOLOGIST:

Or tea.



FIRST ARCHAEOLOGIST:

Sat on a broken chair, an' all.

FOURTH ARCHAEOLOGIST:

Oh, we never had a chair. We used to sit in a wheelbarrow

SECOND ARCHAEOLOGIST:

Wheelbarrow full of soil

THIRD ARCHAEOLOGIST:

And stones

FIRST ARCHAEOLOGIST:

Oh we used to dream of having a wheelbarrow! Wheelbarrow would have seemed like a chaise longue to us. We used to sit in a damp 'ole in the ground with only a tarpaulin for cover.




SECOND ARCHAEOLOGIST:

Tarpaulin? You were lucky to have a tarpaulin. We used to have only a spade for cover between twenty-six of us and it were broken.

THIRD ARCHAEOLOGIST:

Eh, you were lucky to have a spade. We had nothing to dig with but our own ‘ands.

FOURTH ARCHAEOLOGIST:

‘ands? Luxury! We used to dream of being able to use our 'ands! We had to dig with bloodied stumps

THIRD ARCHAEOLOGIST:

But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were poor.

FIRST ARCHAEOLOGIST:

Because we were poor. My old site director used to say to me, "Money doesn't buy you happiness, son".

FOURTH ARCHAEOLOGIST:

Aye, 'e was right.

FIRST ARCHAEOLOGIST:

Aye, 'e was....

SECOND ARCHAEOLOGIST:

And you try and tell the young people of today what life was like before Time Team and they won't believe you.

ALL:

They won't!
  


So, for the moment, farewell dear Time Team. I won't add "R.I.P." for the impact that you have had (and will undoubtedly continue to have) upon the profession of archaeology is immense, and neither will I say adieu, for thankfully you are not really leaving us (I expect that one day you will return in some shape or form and, in the meantime, the repeats on More 4, Yesterday and other digital TV channels will suffice). Think of this not as 'goodbye' then, but as au revoir.

See you next Saturday morning on More 4 at 11.00 (and 12.00 and 1.00 and 2.00).



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