I don't speak Latin.
I felt I had to clarify that point before I proceeded any
further. Sure, as an archaeologist I can translate the odd Roman inscription
(but it's all fairly formulaic stuff and very different from having a conversation
with a dead Roman - if that were in anyway possible). In fact, to be honest, I don't really
speak any other language (alive or dead) all that well. Ok I have a passing acquaintance
with German, and I can order drinks in Russian, French and Italian (and at a
push Spanish and Greek) and, some could (plausibly) argue that, in any case, my
English isn't all that great (thanks for that Comprehensive school education), but
I digress....
..the reason I mentioned my failings in ancient languages is
that, although I only know a bit of Latin, I feel (unnaturally)
angry whenever I hear 'borrowed' (stolen / hijacked) words being
mangled (mashed / squished) into English (worse when those actually doing
the mangling are from the political / banking / teaching elite - the sporting
world does it as well, to be fair, but then my expectations here are never very high in
the first place).
Today, for example, I've heard individuals discussing, on both
radio and TV, the various consortiums vying for access to the Olympic stadiums
once 2012 has come to an end. Apparently internet forums are rife with
speculation. Am I the only one shouting 'Stadia', 'Consortia', 'Fora' at the
radio like a man with an ancient and rather grammar-based form of tourettes (or worse like someone who
is six olives short of a dinner party)?
I know this is not Latin "as she was spoke", but
I feel suitably disturbed enough to write an open letter to those in authority:
"Dear British Olympic Committee.
Having heard the discussions this morning concerning which
consortiums are planning to buy the various Olympic stadiums, I must add to the
debate currently raging like bacteriums across all the internet forums and say
that I hope the gymnasiums do not get recycled as aquariums, crematoriums or souvenir
selling emporiums (otherwise I shall come down to the Olympic auditoriums and
bash together all your craniums), for these should all stay as stadiums and gymnasiums for at least the
next few millenniums".
Now excuse me, I feel I need a lie down.
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