What does Europe mean to you: 4

It's been decided.

Forget who won (or indeed who lost - though that seems rather difficult for the British Press who are in the middle of their annual whinge against the rest of Europe), no the important thing is who won the prestigious title of Official Eurovision Site Song for the BU Durotriges Big Dig 2012.

It was a tough call, but here are the results (in reverse order)

6)  Albania - an exquisite slice of screaming from the rope-haired Rona Nishliu and Suus This really doesn't grow on you (and if it did you'd try and cut it off). Wonderful.

5) Austria (who should have won purely for their name - Trakshittaz), and their infuriatingly catchy Woki mit deim Popo, a cheery ditty concerning two middle class white Austrian boys and their new found interest in ladies bottoms....it didn't get past the Semi Finals, but an epic slice of Eurovision nonetheless.

4) Israel - Izabo with Time - wonderfully inane and beautifully insane. Didn't get into the final either, being knocked out in the semi finals...

3) Russia - well, what can I say that no one has already? Six Grandmothers (one of whom - the ringer I presume - was only in her 40s) singing and gyrating to a bread oven. Nothing in the world can prepare you for this...

2) Turkey - could anything beat the man-ship / cape-boat Can Bonomo from the Bosporus? The lyrics alone ("My ship is full of hope / searching for your bay") were enough to snatch victory, even without the cape-wearing sailors (do sailors normally wear capes?).

BUT....well you guessed it. I would perhaps cry 'fix' if I wasn't so scrupulous in ensuring that no song had a pre show hearing and no money changed hands (sadly):

1) Moldova - Pasha Parfeny and Lautar - the outright winner (I'm just a sucker for those Moldovan trumpets I guess). "You haven't seen before how looks the trumpet", well no, Pasha, the total absence of a polished brass instrument on stage during your performance of this upbeat ditty means that, for most of Europe, we are still waiting to see 'how looks the trumpet', but whatever the case, it certainly seems popular with the ladies.

So the peasant-evicting, state-torturing, oil-burning, media-gagging, skull-crushing, assassination-approving government in Azerbaijan was not toppled, but at least everyone now knows where it is (....hey, it's a start). Perhaps least surprising of all was the position of the UK entry (second to last). Apparently, according to the British media, this was due to it going first in the four hour long show (conveniently forgetting the contibution of the song, the lyrics, the singer and the fact that it was, after all, the UK). 

No matter – congratulations Pasha, despite your showing in the final (a respectable 11^th place), you are our official mascot-theme for DBD 2012.

Now, let the digging commence....